Januam

For the past couple of months, I've been in religious limbo. None of the religions I've done research on really hit the mark. And frankly, indolence prevents me from continuing my once-eager search. But...I'd still like a lil' sum'n sum'n to stand on, you know. I thought it would be much more fun and worth the effort if I started a new religion. I came up with Januam (yah-noo-am).* The following is an excerpt from the Pamphlet of Januam (I don't want to bore any potential followers with a giant book; I'd like to keep it short and simple). I'll add the rest when I come up with it.

JANUAM

COSMOGONY AND WHATNOT

The beginning we like to acknowledge, the beginning of the universe, wasn’t much of a beginning. It was really just a blip in the eternal eternity of the Head Honcho. It was through Shis** Will that the forces of nature arose; it was through Shis Will that the first atoms breathed not-life. The Head Honcho was always present, is always present, and will always be present. Herm is the space between electrons and nuclei; Herm is the tree that falls in the forest when no one is around to witness; Herm is the tear that is shed in the chlorinated pool. Herm is the unknowable and is consequently the knowable, for something has to take the job. Herm is the only cause, the final effect, the binding between all the individual shreds of this vast space we call existence. It is because of Sherm that science has something to attempt to describe. Herm set turning the gears of the giant watch of everything knowable. Herm is just that, a watchmaker, but Herm does not intervene in the workings of the watch. It was all set, is all set, and will always be set. The minute ticks of the watch are both the effects of the only cause and the causes of the final effect. They are meant to be because Herm set the watch that meant them to be, but we know that Herm is the unknowable and ergo the producer of something unknowable, which in turn produces unknowable circumstances. In short, everything besides the unknowable can be explained by science, but the real science is determining what exactly is knowable. Although in the end, nothing is knowable.

ON THE BODY, BEING AND ESSENCE

Every living thing is composed of three parts.

The least important yet the most tangible of the three is the body. It is exactly what it is and nothing more—a bunch of atoms combined and manipulated so as to give an illusion of life.

The other two components go hand in hand. Being and Essence give true life to a living thing. Together, they compose the Soul.

Essence is the individualizing aspect of the living thing. It is the aggregate of the divers ways in which it reacts to other living things and their actions. It is the sum of desires and abhorrences. It is personality for some; it is lack of personality for others. Essence gives identity. It creates variety, and thus makes life worth living.

Being is the aspect a living thing shares with all other living things. It is the infinitesimal, but to equal extent strong, bit of the Head Honcho, the divine, the unknowable, that every living thing shares with every other living thing. Being gives unity. It creates harmony, and thus makes life worth living.

In sum, the Soul, which is Essence hopelessly bound to Being, is immortal, completely unique, and completely equal to other Souls (through the divinity invested in it). There is a definite number of Souls and a definite number of bodies. Bodies die; souls live on. What body a Soul is incarnated into is completely dependent upon the ticks of Shis magnum opus, the great watch. Where a Soul is excarnated out to is completely unknowable, for when it returns from its resting place, it is entirely devoid of any memory.

ON THE CONTRADICTION

The Cosmogony and Whatnot section stated quite clearly the inevitable uncertainty in everything. The immediately preceding section contradicted this doctrine through its establishment of the three components of living things.

Januam, like every other religion, rests upon the imagination of its founder. Since nothing is knowable, which is the only truth that Januam submits to, religion can only act as collections of guesstimations. In an existence where one cannot know anything, the best one can do is guesstimate. That is why religion is crucial to sanity.

*The word "januam" is Latin for "door".

**"Shis", "Herm", and "Sherm" take the place of "His/Hers", "He/She", and "Him/Her" respectively. The Head Honcho is neither male nor female.

THE TEN SUGGESTIONS

The Ten Suggestions are simply recommendations that, if followed, should lead to a fulfilling life according to the beliefs of Januam.

1. Thou shalt be true to others as well as to thyself.

Lying is denying a portion of one’s self – whether it be from another or from one’s self. (As a matter of Januam fact, lying to another is lying to one’s self and vice versa because there is a piece of the divine uniting one and all.) Such denial is inimical to the sense of gratitude that is essential to a bright, harmonious life. So little truth is known as it is, so woe to the one who worsens the mix.

2. Thou shalt see the best in others. 

The wise prophet Hannah of Montana sang, “Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days.” Indeed, we all should know what she’s talking about because everybody gets that way. One must not judge another on the basis of the other’s faults. This contradicts the divine that resides inside each and every Soul. At the same time, one must value all others as entities in and of themselves that are capable of the most extraordinary acts.

3. Thou shalt not harm another living being out of malice.

Herm has Shis ways, and by Shis ways, beings pass in and out of life, sometimes for the benefit of other beings. (The attempted study of these particular ways is known as ecology.) It is wicked, however, to harm or take the life of another living being while being spurred on by spite. Such is evil for evil’s sake. 

4. Thou shalt be grateful in both prosperity and adversity.

Thoughts of gratitude beget more for one to be grateful for. This makes gratitude especially valuable in adversity. Gratitude also acts as a shield against greed, which corrupts the Essence and hinders the expression of the Being. Gratitude thus precludes excessive want and focuses one’s attention on the greater goods in life that are already within one’s reach.

5. Thou shalt help those in need.

One is all and all is one. Help another, and one helps one’s self. Help another, and one helps all.

6. Thou shalt not let the lesser emotions get the better of thyself.

Love and hate are the two base emotions. From hate come envy, contempt, conceit, impatience, and fear. From love come joy, patience, benevolence, gratitude, and courage. One must submerge one’s self in love in order to be conducive to the overall harmony of Shis watch. In addition, expression of the greater emotions summons even more for one to love by the power of the mind.

7. Thou shalt celebrate diversity.

Diversity arises from the unique Essence in each and every Soul. One should rejoice in the variety of Essences because, as has already been stated, it is this multifariousness of life that makes it worth living. 

8. Thou shalt waste neither thy time nor another’s.

Time is extremely valuable because completion of the Soul Quest is essential to a fulfilling life, and Soul Quests are often very difficult and lengthy. Of course, even after completing the Soul Quest, one’s life is not fulfilled, for one is compelled to live out one’s Purpose in contribution to the overall harmony of Shis watch. It should also be clear that one will want to spend as much time as possible with one’s Soul Mate. It is wicked to intentionally hinder another in the achievement of a fulfilling life, but it stems from Suggestion Five that it is good to aid another in such a cause. One should therefore try to save another’s time whenever possible.

10. Thou shalt strike a balance between the past, present, and future.

It is integral that one learns from the past, lives in the present, and plans for the future. Doing so facilitates the completion of one’s Soul Quest. Lingering too much on past mistakes and dreaming too much of what is to come detracts from one’s life, which is lived in the present.